Friday, April 29, 2011

Slight cramps again, but still no AF

Today is CD 36.

Slight cramps today and for the past few days.  Not too sure on CM b/c I used a lite days tampon this morning after BD.

Tested for pregnancy yesterday morning, BFN.  Not even bothering to post yet another picture of a single lined pregnancy test.  I'll post the next one.  My graph paper is almost at the end--I only made it 39 days across..  GRR.  And as I feel right now, I don't think it's going to come any time soon.  I'm going to be one of those people with a 110 day cycle.  Rar.

I know that I'm not out until AF shows, but right now I feel like I'm out of the game.  No sore boobies, was dizzy and nauseous this morning, but other than that I feel pretty normal.  I've been tired lately, but I think that's just from working all day and doing Zumba® and everything else that I do.  Or something.  Who knows.  I've already taken 5 POAS so far and all BFN.  Sigh.

That's all for now.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Still no AF...

CD 34, soon to be 35.  No sign of AF.  Well, that's not 100% true.  I've been crampy for the past several days (usually only crampy RIGHT BEFORE I start)  Also kind of emotional today-I'm getting really discouraged with my Zumba® class, which I've had for 6 months now and I consistently only have 1 person.  Very very sad about this.

CM = yes.  My days kind of blur together so I can't remember how it was.  Typical, I suppose.  Nothing out of the ordinary.  A good bit though.

I may POAS tomorrow morning.  It will be 14 days past BD, and 6 days past the other BD.  Why doesn't any one go by BD days?  It's all I have to go by since I have no idea about my ovulation this month.  Just a chart with lots of pretty colors describing my CM.

Super tired right now, but I'm trying to hold out for another couple of minutes.  I have a 12" x 3" round chocolate cake in the fridge cooling down.  I'd like to wrap it before I go to bed so that 1, it doesn't dry out and 2, so that it doesn't take like Fridge.  Then tomorrow morning after it's 100% cooled down, I'll chuck it in the freezer so it can get all ready decorating.  Or do I torte it first?  Hmm...not sure.  I'll text Sara.

Ok.  Teeth Brushing now!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I must conserve my POAS supply.....

I am SO tempted to POAS tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!



Had to do it.

(scream, I mean)

I just want to be pregnant!  And I know that POAS won't make me pregnant, but it will tell me if I am!  It's been 12 days since our 2nd to last BD, and 4 days since the last BD.  No idea about ovulation.  There were a few BDs before that....but I think I'd know if I was preg by now from those....
I guess it's still technically possible, but I doubt it.  If I could just get my period and move on to the next cycle, that would be lovely.

Today is CD 33.  Little to no CM, been a tad crampy for the past 3 days.  Weird.  I keep running to the bathroom because I think I need a tippy tamp.  No such luck.  No sore boobies.

The board is annoying me at the moment.  People are freaking out about saliva killing the spermies.  Get Real!!!!  Ok, so they kill off a few of them, but if that were true, WHY WOULD ANY ONE BUY BIRTH CONTROL?!?!?!?!  They wouldn't.  Because you could just spit on weenie and ta da!  No babies.  But that is not the case.  Plenty of people get pregnant, and lots of guys get blow jobs.  If you sit here and stress about all the ways you can and can't have sex, you will never ever get pregnant.  So go lick a weenie, and then try to get pregnant with it.  Hmph.

And maybe the ladies would like a little somethin' somethin' too....

Just sayin'.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Husbie thinks I'm prego and just not telling him


It is kind of funny though.  Tee hee.  And it's something I would do.

Wish it were true.  Sigh.

And as you can see, it's not.  Ovulation stick is looking good though.  And that was with FMU.

Today is CD 32.  CM today is creamy.  Lots this morning.  Less this afternoon/evening.  I was feeling crampy earlier, thought maybe my period was going to start.  Nope.  No period.  I did poo though.  Maybe that was it.

Not much else going on.

I'm reading Brain Rules for Baby.  I'm skipping over the boring parts.  Seems to be pretty good so far.

Just wanted to check in!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Shouldn't have wasted the POAS.

Decided to pee on a stick this morning.  CD 30.  Still nada!  Yesterday we BD and I had gobs of CM.  I know, gross.  The watery kind too.  3 separate times throughout the day I thought it was bad enough to go through my pants, but luckily it didn't.

No BFP, but notice the weird line thing to the left of where the bfp would be....odd...yes?  I'm thinking it's just dye left in the little dye square thing.  So I'm not getting excited, I just thought it was odd.

Went to the fair last night!  Kind of, anyways.  We went with some friends and we only went on one ride.  Which was good, because it's kind of expensive and there weren't really many good rides.  

So that was fun.  We had a good time with our friends.

In other news, Kiwi has pretty massive diarrhea.  This has been going on since some time yesterday, through the night, and I'm not sure how the day is going to go.  Good practice for kids, I suppose.  The poor thing is hiding in the bathroom cabinet right now.  We have him in the guest bathroom since the floor isn't done yet.  (Berber carpet + diarrhea = OMFG GROSS)  If only we ordered the vinyl flooring 1 month  There was liquid poo EVERYWHERE.  And I'm not even really exaggerating.  2 spots in the office, in front of the washing machine and on the washing machine, 4-5 spots in the living room, 3 spots in the bedroom, on the large tupperware holding our backup comforter in our closet, on the side of our laundry basket, in the clothes pile on the floor, in the bathroom cabinet, I mean, you name it it's there.  He was covered in poo, so I bathed him last night using my shampoo (no cat shampoo and I wasn't running to Walmart while my cat is covered in diarrhea) and then we set him up in the spare bathroom, which he also covered in poo.  He puked, but we think it was just a GIANT hairball from licking himself dry after the bath.  Crazy though.  Not sure how he puked that up.  Like, 4-5 inches long, solid tube of hair or whatever.  Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.  So we cleaned up yet again, took out his food at the recommendation of webmd for pets, and gave him fresh water.  This morning more poo, cleaned it up again, didn't bathe him completely but rinsed off the liquid poo from his leg and sponge bathed the rest of the dried poo out of his fur.  It's so sad seeing him like this.  He pooped on me while I was holding him last night.  It's been a very poo covered 16 hours. 

Today is Saturday, so I'm really hoping he gets better because otherwise we won't be able to get him in to see a vet until Monday.  Weekends suck.  As if pets don't get sick on the weekend or something.  WTF.  What am I supposed to do with him if he ends up needing an IV for fluids?  Pay the emergency fee of like $4,000,000,000 or something I suppose.  I call VCA in Palm Bay and they're like, "Well, we can't give him treatment until we give him a full check up because we haven't seen him since last year, so that's going to cost $51.50, and then a fecal sample is $55 and poo crap disposal is $5 and then...." WTF.  Just tell me if my fricken cat is going to be ok or not.  Sheesh.  They're going to take every penny we have and insist on vaccinations and what not before they'll even fricken look at him? Are you kidding?  Are they so inexperienced that they can't treat a cat they've never seen before?  They have 4 legs, whiskers, and they meow.  We're not talking about some sort of exotic species or something.  Whatever. I'll give him water orally via syringe if I have to.  It will work out.  Anyways, I'm going to read for a few minutes, then off to work!  Never ends...

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Today is CD 28

Today is CD 28.  No sign of AF.  And I didn't test for pregnancy today.

CM today.  Yay.  I think.  Maybe I should test for an LH surge.  Or not.  I don't know.  I think I'm going to wait a few more days before testing for hCG again.  I don't want to waste too many pregnancy tests.

Tired (9:41 pm), not sure if I'm still feeling the cramps or not...I don't think so.  Or if I am I'm not paying as much attention as I was.

I found out from the WTE forum that the Walmart brand Soy Iso is in the form of small pills.  Yay!

No sore boobies.  No nausea.  Feel pretty normal.

Just wanted to make note of my symptoms/lack thereof

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Another BFN

Here it is in all it's awful glory:

They annoy me so much because it's like BAM.  NO.  NO PREGNANCY FOR YOU!

Teh pee stik sez no!


So, today was CD 27.  Less CM than yesterday, but not too shabby.  So I think that's good.  I haven't tested for OV today.  And I don't think I'm going to test for hCG tomorrow, I'll wait until Friday since I tested today.  Still feel feather light cramping, but less now than I was previously.  And not so tired today, don't know if that's good or bad.  Or neither.  Maybe it just is.

This is an awful lot of whining for it only being our 1st month TTC.  But seriously!  This sucks!  Apparently a male cat only needs about 5 SECONDS to impregnate a female cat.  And they're like, the most fertile things ever.  I'm going to be a cat in my next life, I think.

I'm looking at my nifty color chart (see previous post, I forget when it's from) and we BD on CD 8, 12, 14, and 21.  My only days with CM so far were CD 17, 21, 24, 25, 26, 27.   Especially 26.  Tested for ov on Cd 26.  No LH surge.  Blah.


I soo know that if Kevin is home when I get my BFP, I'm not going to be able to contain myself.  I better prepare for how I'm going to tell him now so that I don't have to wait.  That way I'll be able to execute the plan whenever I need to.  Hmm...

Now I'm tired.  11:32 pm.

This weekend is going to be psycho!  Easter weekend, 2 buffet seatings, 350 & 250 or something like that.  So far, anyways.  I suspect that the numbers will go up by Easter.  I need to find out if it's time and 1/2 or not.  I thought it was, but now I'm thinking it's not...

I wish I knew how long my cycle was going to be.  27 minutes until CD 28.  If I was on BC, I'd be starting tomorrow.


Lippy laptop is needing to be plugged in now.  Goodnight!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

To test or not to test...that is the question.

So I had lots of CM today!  More than I have all month combined, I think.  So I decided to test LH in case I'm a late ovulator or something.

Nope.  No +opk.  Le Sigh.

I might test for hCG tomorrow though.  We'll see.

CM = creamy, watery, lots.   More than the past 2 days.  In fact, it's been increasing over the past 3 days.  I'm very interested in this.

I was really tired when I got out of work at 3pm, but I was driving and thankfully didn't fall asleep.  I wasn't too tired until just now..and it's 11:33pm, so that's not really too abnormal.

No sore boobies.  This worries me.


Monday, April 18, 2011

Tired and Nauseous

Man, I sure am going to be disappointed if AF shows up.

It's 10:02 pm and I am yawning my FACE off.  I have been super tired.  But not all the time, just in an all of a sudden kind of way.  Like, I'll be fine, not too tired or anything and then BAM.  Tired.  Must sleep.  It happened about 5 minutes ago.  I'm hardly keeping my eyes open.  Ugh..

And I'm all nauseous and junk.  What's up with that?  Oh, and I'm thirsty too.

I'm going to try to not test tomorrow.  We'll see.  Trying to wait until Thursday.

I don't even know what I would do if I found out I was pregnant tomorrow morning.  Freak the f out.  That's what.  How in the world would I keep my fat mouth shut?  I can't even keep it shut now.  Ugh.  I love talking too much.

My stomach is very talky and indigestiony.  I'm not burping or anything, but I can feel the air bubbles in my esophagus.  I'm adding this to my list of potential pregnancy symptoms.

Goodnight now.

Early Sign?????????

So not only am I already obsessed with the idea that I may be pregnant (despite having no idea whether or not I actually ovulated...) But then husbie sends me this!

Wow!  Panda Express thinks we'll receive pleasant news soon!  What if it's a sign?!

I made it to CVS without peeing my pants.  It was a major internal struggle in the family planning aisle.  I really wanted to bring home pre-seed and a basal thermometer but I resisted.  I figure it's most likely too far into my cycle to do anything now, so I'll see how this all plays out.  If I'm pregnant, I'll have wasted $30 on those 2 things.  If I'm not preg, I can go back to the store and get them on CD1.  I must stay away from the store.  I'll probably come home with soy iso next.

Just wanted to share my pregnancy prediction from Panda.  WEE!

(I'm not getting excited.)


(Nope.  Not at all counting my chickens before they hatch.)

Theoretically test on the 21st..ha ha ha I'm so funny....

Ok well I'll start with yesterdays ovulation test pic.  Ugh.  I was so sure something was going on!  I didn't have EWCM, but again--first cycle off BC so who knows!  I did have watery CM like, all day.  It was wet enough that I was worried AF had started and I was going to have to leave work and go buy new underwear lol.  Thankfully, that was NOT the case.  So I tested when I got home...

And ta da!  No ovulation.  I'm still hoping that I magically ovulated before I got these stupid LH tests and just didn't have any CM to accompany it.  Or something.  We're all different...right?

So after that, I met my husband at the in-laws for dinner and ice cream (Kev's bday was the 12th) and then we got home around 8pm.  I took a little nap (yes...again...) for 20 minutes or so.  Not terribly long. I didn't even think I fell completely asleep, but my husband says I did because he was talking to me and I wasn't responding at all.

Anyhoo, I have Monday's off, so after Kev went to work, I had the urge to POAS.  More on that in a second...

And another BFN.  Grar.

Ok, back to the urge to poas.  I describe my urge to POAS as mild, kind of like when you're at a party and there are trays of cookies and brownies out, and you're supposed to be dieting, but you can't really see the harm in one cookie, so you have one.  But it's not like you HAVE TO HAVE ONE.  You know?  Like, I could just not poas if I wanted...but I did because..why not?  So I'm not sure if I'm addicted to POAS yet...but this might be the gateway poas phase.  Maybe I'll be an addict soon.  I kind of hope not.  I'm already worried because I only have 8 tests left.  I'm tempted to order more from Amazon, but I'm determined to wait and see if AF comes or not first.

So yes.

And now to shower because I only have 10 squares of TP left in the house, and I'm going to save that for an emergency.  I must go to the store and get more.  Which is why I have to shower or I'll never make it.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Just kidding. The craziness continues.

Ok, so since I napped 2 days in a row, I thought I'd start off the day testing for hCG!  I'm on CD 23, and had kind of given up on yeah.  Must pee on something!

And we have a BFN!  I mean, not just a BFN, but a nice super dark control like that screams "suck it!" right next to the whitest empty space I have ever seen.  Geesh!  I get it!  It's negative!  Wow.  Ok, so I then peed on an LH stick to make myself feel better, because I knew I'd at least get 2 lines there, even if they don't mean anything.  And I must point out that the control line on the hCG is much more impressive.

So I'm not ovulating, and I'm not pregnant!  Yet.

I'm going to theoretically test again on 4/21/11, which would be CD 28.  I'm hoping for a BFP at that time.  We'll see.

Friday, April 15, 2011

I think I'll give up the Ovulation testing this cycle.

So here is todays very light picture:

There is a line but you really have to squint to see it.  Ugh.

Took a nap again today.  That's 2 days in a row.  Anyone who knows me knows that I am not typically a nap kind of person.  Either I'm old, over worked, getting sick, or pregnant.  Hoping for pregnant!  I'm dying to go POAS, however, since I'm only on CD 22, I'm going to wait 6 more days.  And the fact that my ovulation test is negative doesn't really encourage me to waste a pregnancy test.  My ovulation test should be positive if I was pregnant, since the hCG hormone is very very similar to LH.  Sigh.

No CM again today.  What teensy bit I did have was very watery.  Still feeling very light cramps on and off.  And tired.  No sore boobies though.  Poo poo.

Going to pick up my papa johns pizza.  Yum.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

The line is even lighter than yesterday. Oh poo.

So here is todays stick:

And I thought I was onto something with the line getting darker.  But according to POAS, the line can get darker and lighter on it's own, so it's not uncommon for it to be like that.

It also says something about the CM glands shriveling up while on BC, and that could be why I'm dry.  BUT...then why did I have CM the 9 years I was on BC?  I'm very confused by this.

Either way though, I had some CM today!  Yay!  I was getting ready to POAS and I wiped first to check, and voila!  Very excited.  Maybe I don't have a sahara desert hoo-hoo after all.

Today's CM:  Creamy earlier, watery in the evening.

I just really want to be pregnant.  Ok?  Please....!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

CD 20, no ovulation...but is that line a little darker? What does this mean?

Ok here is todays ovulation test:

The line is DEFINITELY darker that it was yesterday!  I don't know what this means.  I think I'll ask on the WTE TTC forum.  So, what i'm wondering is if it's darker than the past 2 days tests, does that mean I'm getting close to my LH spike?  Will tomorrows test be darker?  When should I test tomorrow?  Or is there some deviation in the color of the line? Hmm...?

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Still no ovulation. Grr.

No ovulation yet.  Le sigh.

CD 19.  No idea if I ovulated previously or not.  Still not a fricken drop of CM.  All the years that I prayed my CM would go away.  Now that I want it, it decides to go away.

Here's my pretty sea shell box for holding me tests though!

I'm very excited.  It's perfect!

Anyways, we'll see how tomorrow goes!

Cramping today as well, by the way.  Been thirsty, and not peeing as much as I usually do.  Maybe I'm finally getting used to all the water intake?

Monday, April 11, 2011

Guess what came in the mail?! / Why can't ovulation test be like pregnancy tests?

Yay!  Now I have something to pee on!  I have my little "pee on things" station set up in the bathroom, and I'm decorating a box to put my pee sticks in :D

My pee on things set up includes:

An old butt wipes container for setting pee stick in while it ripens, a small plastic cup for peeing in, and bleach, for sanitizing all of it when I'm done.

I'm very pleased with myself.  I'll add a picture of my box for storing my tests in when I'm finished with it.  It's drying right now, then once it dries, I can pour clear resin in it to set it.  (i glued sea shells in the lid, so I want to seal them in!)

Now of course I had just peed and was washing my hands when I hear, "ding dong!" from my front door.  Typical!  So I ripped open the box and got so excited I thought I might be able to pee again!  And hooray!  I did!

There is a faint line, but unfortunately ovulation tests are NOT like pregnancy tests, and I am not having an LH surge.  Hmph.  But I'm not defeated here.   This is cycle day 18, and I've been feeling light cramps for 4 days, so maybe I had my LH surge a few days ago?  And I've had no EWCM, so maybe I'm just crazy and am not ovulating at all, and am just making my poor husband to naughty things to me for no reason?  I must consult the WTE board and see if I should keep testing for ovulation or if I should just wait until next cycle like I suspect I should.

The longest 28 days of my entire life. Geesh!

So I'm looking at my nifty cycle chart I made, and there is NO WAY that is has only been 10 days since my period ended.  I feel like I haven't had a period in 3 months.

I have a newfound respect for anyone who has been TTC for 1 year or longer.  I feel like I'm going to explode, and it's only been 17 days!

17 DAYS!

I thought pregnancy was such an easy thing.  You have sex, you get pregnant.  Bang!  Just like that.  Don't even try using the pull out method to prevent pregnancy because BANG! You'll get pregnant from the pre-cum.  Don't touch a penis and then touch yourself because BANG! You'll get pregnant.  Now I'm terrified that it's going to take us forever to get pregnant.  We have to fricken time it?  I have a 12-24 hour window?  That's it?  That's ridiculous.  I don't even know when I'm ovulating.  Or IF i'm ovulating.  I think I am, I've been having very light cramps on and off for 4 days, with today being the lightest.  No EWCM though.  And my OPKs are in the mail on their way here, should be here today...?  I can't wait to pee on one.

Which brings me to this:  Can I just pee on it, or do I actually have to go buy disposable cups to pee in so I can dip the little strip?  Guess I'll find out.  If I get the OPK test strips in today I'll pee on one and post a pic.  Hopefully it says I'm ovulating.

I swear if I 'd have known all of this, I would have stopped birth control 6 months ago and just not of had sex the first 2 weeks of my cycle.  I mean this is nuts.  I always thought getting pregnant would be so easy.  Maybe it is.  Maybe I'm pregnant.  Ha.  Yeah, right.

Although I did sleep until 11:30 today...

We tried to BD this morning, it wasn't successful though.  I'm hoping that the fact that his penis touched my va-jay-jay will count for something.  I wonder if the pressure to perform is hard on him?  I told him to just relax and forget about teh babies, and think of his sexy wife instead (aka ME).  Maybe I should stop texting him about having babies?  How do I obsess over babies without letting him know that I'm obsessing?  Should I POAS?  ARGH!  I need to pee on something.

I think I'll eat a girl scout cookie.  (is that a craving?!  maybe i'm pregnant!)

Friday, April 8, 2011

TTC for 16 days, and I'm already sick of imaginary pregnancy symptoms

I find that I am a lot more aware of my body than I have ever been before.  Every stomach gurgle, every flutter, every twinge, every headache, every pee, and every time I feel even a little tired.  I'm aware of every time I feel out of breath, every time my feet hurt, the nerve that bothers me in my back, and even my finger and toe nails that seem to be growing faster than ever.

Well let me just say that this heightened awareness sucks.  Sucks, Sucks, Sucks!

I swear I am over analyzing EVERYTHING.

For example:

Last month was my final cycle of BC, although I didn't know this until I was taking my last pill.  I had missed one pill in the middle of the pill pack, and we happened to BD that same day.  I've had the baby bug though, so I wasn't terribly worried about it.  I figured if I ended up pregnant, great!  If not, no harm done.  Anyways, I came down with bronchitis a few days after that, and I had a fever for 4 days.  I went to the walk-in clinic and was tested for a whole slew of things (I guess they have to pay the bills somehow...) including a pee test for pregnancy, which was a BFN.  But AF was due to start 3 days after that.  Which she did.  But I was so slow to recover, I started to think I was pregnant despite AF showing up.  And we had BD a once after AF, so I guess technically possible, but unlikely.  Anyways, I was tired and out of breath a lot, lots of mucus, and had felt kinda nauseous at one point, plus I had a headache at the same time for like, 9 days in a row, and I practically had myself convinced that I was pregnant!  I'm still not 100% sure that I'm not.  And  I know in my deep heart and stomach that I am just trying to will myself pregnant, but I wish I didn't know about all of these symptoms.  About the sore boobies, which I get before AF anyways..., about implantation bleeding, which most people don't even get, the headaches, the mucus, the bloating, the "oh I felt my ovary do something", and everything else.  I spend more time trying to be one with my body.  And ugh.  It's exhausting.

But I'm obsessed.  I just ordered 40 OPK strips and 10 POAS strips from  I'm kind of excited.  Except that you have to dip these in your pee pee, which means that I won't be POAS I'll be PIACDAS*.

*Peeing in a cup and dipping a strip.  I made this up.  It might catch on.

I'm most interested to see if I'm ovulating, because as it stands right now, I don't think I am.  I don't think I have this month at all.  Which is ridiculous, because I used to have so much CM I'd keep extra underwear with me in case I felt the urge to change them, and 10 days after AF and I've hardly had anything.  How am I supposed to be fertile and make babies if there is no juice to bring the baby directions to the baby making station?!  I swear, the BD juice isn't even really making a surprise visit after BD...which is weird.  I mean, the normal amount comes out right afterwards...but you know...more usually follows later.  Maybe my cervix is so dry that it's just soaking it up like hand lotion.  New name for semen:  Cervix lotion.

I took a nap today.  What's my first thought?  I'm pregnant.  I'm feeling a slight (I mean, almost not noticeable but I notice it because I'm nuts) cramping in my uterus today (which is now CD 16) so surely it must be the baby implanting and making itself at home.  Or maybe AF is coming..(already?)  or maybe it's ovulating pains!  I DON"T F&^K&#G KNOW!

But I wish I did...

I drank 1 cranberry vodka made with 1/2 the normal vodka today followed by 2 glasses of water.  A comment was made and I'm trying to drop it.  I really am.  But I'm so angry about it.  I'm not even pregnant yet and already I'm being scrutinized.  As if I'm some sort of fricken moron.  As if I haven't read through dozens of books and websites in the past 2 months.  I wanted to throw something.  Still do, kind of.  But now I feel like I should cut out everything for fear that some one is going to make me feel like crap if I'm not the perfect fricken baby making vessel.

Sorry.  Had to get that out.  Again.

Neck twinge.  Maybe I'm pregnant.  Still feeling slight cramping.  I hope it's not AF.  please please please please please.

I keep hearing about the dollar store POAS.  I'm curious about these.  I may have to go pick one up just to see what it's all about.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

I can't be the only obsessed crazy woman out there, so here are a few ideas Part 2

  1. How will you announce your pregnancy, and when?
    1. Think about how, when, and to whom you'll announce your pregnancy to.  Also, who, if anyone, would you want to know about you and your husband TTC?  Are you going to surprise hubby by idly mentioning the pregnancy during some random, conversation and watch him be blown away by the realization?  Or is he going to be there with you when you POAS?  Or maybe you'll fedex a package to him filled with onesies or baby rattles.  What about your parents and the in-laws?  Framed picture of the ultrasound slyly set up with the family pictures and see who notices first?  I Love Grandma/Grandpa onsies as gifts?  If you're the type of person that LOVES to surprise people (I am!!!), this waiting period gives you PLENTY of time to come up with something really good!  So take advantage of it!
    2. About the TTC thing--be straight up with your husband about who you want to tell that you're TTC.  I can't really say much because I've already flubbed it up...but really, you don't want 100 people asking you every month, "Are you pregnant yet?"  Especially if you've been trying for several months and are already worrying.  I made my husband swear that we weren't going to tell anyone and I've already told Kristina, Bonnie & Carlos, and kind of Angie.  I'm just so excited I can't keep my fat mouth shut.  But I'm trying now.  Really.
    3. Really.
  2. What is a doula, and do you want to use one?
    1. While you're thinking about TTC or are in the early months of your pregnancy, research doulas and the benefits they have on having a more peaceful birthing experience.  And not just peaceful, rather, an all around better birthing experience.  There are tons of books and websites that offer valuable information about what doulas are, how long they've been around, and why women helping women is an important part of our culture that seems to have disappeared over the past hundred years or so.  Doulas are kind of like midwives, except they don't deliver the baby.  Rather, they offer support, help you remember all those dang breathing exercises, and can help you move into different positions to lessen labor pains and even sometimes turn a breached baby.  While our husbands can make wonderful birth coaches, they are excited and involved emotionally in the birth as well.  Sometimes they might not know what their wives need, or are taking in everything that's going on around them and don't even realize that she could use his help.  Doulas are trained to be able to tell when the mother needs help, and can talk her through the whole process.  Doula assisted births statistically end in fewer emergency c-sections, as  well as a whole slew of other birth complications.  Here's a website with more information.
  3. What do you need now, and what can wait?
    1. If you're like me and probably 95% of women out there, you like to shop, and are already eyeballing the SUPER CUTE baby things that all of a sudden are EVERYWHERE.  I know, it's killing me too.  It's all I can do to not re-max out my credit cards with all of the things that I feel like I "have" to have.  BUT!  Think about this--your newborn is not going to need a sippy cup, baby spoons, a little tykes piano, or teething rings just yet.  Plus, if you buy all of these things now, what will you get to buy later?  More stuff!  Ha, just kidding.  But you get the idea.  I have already decided that I will not purchase any brand new onesies from a retail store.  The thrift store I keep mentioning (Once Upon A Child) has like, a squillion onesies, most of which are in super good if not perfect/brand new condition, plus, how long will the baby wear these things?  A few months?  $1.50 is a great price for me.  Target has onesies for $15! Are you kidding me? Ugh.  Anyways, buy/register for only the things you need right now, and then you'll have 3-4 months to save up for the other, less urgent purchases.  
  4. Kegels!
    1. My new favorite peeing game.  Start peeing, then stop the urine flow and hold for 5-10 seconds, then repeat.  You're supposed to 3 sets of 5 or something, but pretty much I just do them whenever I think about it.  Helps prevent all sorts of issues.  Go pelvic floor muscles!
  5. New, Used, Registry!
    1. Decide what you want.  Look online, read reviews, and pick 2-3 of each type of thing (crib, car seat, baby sling, etc etc).  Write down prices, pros/cons, and if you're using your computer to make this list, save little pictures with each list item.  When you go thrift store shopping or garage saleing, refer to this list.  You'll have at least 9 months to find what you're looking for, so hopefully you can discover some great deals!  And doing the research in advance will let you know when to steer clear of a certain crib or stroller.  NOTE:  Never buy a used car seat unless you KNOW FOR 100% CERTAINTY that is has NEVER been in a car accident.
  6. Baby Names!
    1. Pick up a baby name book and start skimming!  Decide whether or not you're going to share names with people before the baby is born.  If you do decide to share, keep in mind that other people will have no qualms about sharing their opinions, so be prepared to let it roll off your shoulders.  Personally, I think we'll keep our name choices secret, and we'll narrow it down to 2-3 names per gender, and then name it once it's born.  (What if he just isn't a jeffrey?)
Those are my tips for the day!  Tomorrows topic will be:

Imaginary pregnancy symptoms.  Stop it, brain!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

I can't be the only obsessed crazy woman out there, so here are a few ideas.

Since I've already discussed how the incessant ticking in my brain (babies....babies.....babies.....babies.....babies.....) is taking over my life, I wanted to throw out a few things to do that are baby-related that can keep you busy until you get your BFP*.

*BFP:  (n.) Big Fat Positive; in reference to POAS, or Pee On A Sticks.

  1. Mentally Prepare
    1. Having babies can be very scary.  Not only will your body change forever, but so will your life.  Spend plenty of time now before you're pregnant reading the books, asking your pregnant (or previously pregnant) friends questions about everything--what kind of birth did they have, how many doctors appointments, how tired were they, did they poop while delivering...?  Research the different ways to give birth, the pain management options available, the hospital and birthing centers in your area, doulas, and OB/GYNs.  There are SO MANY GOOD BOOKS!  The library is a great start (and free!) or you can chill at a Barnes and Noble and get a decaf latte and read though the plethora of books available there.
  2. Mentally Prepare Your Husband, because he won't prepare himself
    1. Get books geared towards fathers-to-be and leave them in areas where your husband will find them.  Leave pregnancy magazines in the bathroom so he can poop and read.  Mention babies--lots.  Point out cute and well behaved children, read him interesting facts during your own research, walk down the baby aisles in Walmart whenever it can innocently be used as a shortcut to another part of the get the idea.
  3. Start an exercise routine
    1. Your heart has to work harder to support the little being that is going to be growing inside of you.  Get it in to shape and ready for action by doing some cardio (how about some Zumba®!) and some weight exercises.  Also, you will be gaining 25-40 pounds, so no harm in doing some squats and leg and arm exercises to prepare for the big day!**
  4. Read about the pros/cons of breastmilk
    1. Breastmilk?  Or formula?  Why?  Here's a great site to start your research.

**By this, I mean that the weight gain will obviously put more strain on your muscles and why not build some muscle now so it's not so tiring for you or hard on your joints later?  Get your blood pumping and you'll feel so much healthier!  And let's face it, working out is probably not going to be on many priority lists while you're upchuck reflex is acting up, your feet are swollen, and you're super gassy.  But that's just my opinion...

6 more ideas to come tomorrow! Goodnight!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Discovering Water Birth Made Me Realize I Can Survive Birthing A Child

For years, I have mildly pondered at the question of how in the world am I going to have children if I faint when getting warts frozen off (true story), let alone having blood taken, IV's administered, catheters in place, epidural needles in my back, and a cantaloupe sized being coming out of my hoo-hoo.  Medical procedures are not my strong point.

***Please ignore the extremely annoying music in the background of the video, and instead notice how calm the mother is and how happy she seems.  NO SCREAMING! Wow!

I stumbled across water birthing during my mad raid of google for any and all things pregnancy related.  This website here highlights some of the basic positive points about water birth, but it is not the only information available.  Basically, laboring/delivering in warm water can be a natural pain reliever.  Gravitating towards warm water is something I do automatically when I'm sore, tired, or feverish, however, I was not aware that I even did it until reading about it's pain relieving abilities.  Have you ever taken a nice, hot, shower when you have a fever and your whole body is achy?  I do--every time I'm sick.  It makes me feel 100 times better while I'm in the water.  Then there are the numbers--the number of c-sections is less for water births, the number of perineum tears and episiotomies is less, the baby is fine being born into water because it is still getting oxygen from the umbilical cord, the baby is also introduced into the world in a more gentle manner than being delivered with forceps or vacuum or being cut out of the mother.  I began to realize that the things about pregnancy that scared me were all things that could be handled/eliminated by choosing to have a water birth.  No epidural, no IV, no catheter, I can eat/ drink if I want, and hopefully no tearing.  So I'm pretty pleased with the whole ordeal.  I know that people think I can't do it.  And who knows.  Maybe circumstances will change and I won't be able to do it for one reason or another.  But I HATE needles, and if I can have a more peaceful and less needly birthing experience, SIGN ME UP!  Bring on the contractions!  And shove that needle up your unbelieving bumoley!

**Waterbirth International is another web site that has some information about giving birth in water.  They have birthing pool rentals, FAQ's, birth stories, and access to research studies and other interesting information.

Monday, April 4, 2011

How we went from TTC in August to TTC or NTNP now.

I had a plan.

It was a darned good one, too.

Before we got married, we both kind of agreed that we would have kids around the ages of 24-26.  I wanted to have children before 30, and my husband felt the same way.  When we got married at 22/23, we decided we would wait until we were married one year until we started talking about TTC.  This next sentence may seem out of place, but it goes into the whole "timing children" thing.  The Zumba® Fitness Instructor Convention happens every summer at The Orlando Convention Center here in Florida.  In anticipation of this spectacular and most favored event that I attend annually, I said that we should wait to conceive until after the convention.  This way I will still be skinny and athletic-like and not tired and cranky and cravingy.  This seemed like a grand idea at the time of it's formation, so we were kind of going with that.

Well, with the thought of "BABIES?" creeping into my consciousness, I started to get curious.  I wanted to know what I was going to eventually get myself into.

Side Note:  I am a pain-a-phobe.  Rather, I'm terrified of surgical procedures, needles, episiotomies, ripping, needles, blood tests, needles, needles, and needles.

So, I went to the library and started what quickly evolved into my obsession with babies.

I checked out 2 baby books, looking over my shoulder because I felt guilty for checking them out since I wasn't pregnant.  I picked a book called From Conception to Birth: A Life is Born, and also a book called What to Expect Before You're Expecting.  I slid them up onto the library check out counter and had to sign up for a card, I guess my last library card was from the city I used to live in.  No funny looks, and no comments, so I happily sat in my car and started to flip through the From Conception to Birth book.  Wow, is all I have to say.  It's full of pictures and size comparisons of the fetus starting from it being a sperm and egg.  It's amazing.  Then I flipped through the What to Expect Before You're Expecting book.  Lots of good information, it was a good book to whet my appetite, but it by no means quenched it.  If anything, those two books awakened a need for knowledge and a curiosity for something that I began to realize was going to come sooner than later.  That was just the beginning of my research.

Since then, I've spent more hours than I can count on reading through the articles and reading the forum discussion and adding questions and comments of my own.  I've checked out just about every pregnancy book my library has to offer, and somehow through all of this, I knew I not just wanted to have babies, I now need to have babies.  I have to share my life and spend my free time doing something more productive than playing gameboy and sitting in Empire.  I want to have something that's not just part of me, but part of my husband too.  It's so weird to think that this little human is going to grow inside of me before coming out to meet the world.

I talked to my good friend Bonnie, who got married 2 years ago and whom I had a sneaky suspicion might be experiencing the biological clock tick right along with me.  Sure enough.  We're both baby hungry crazies.  I might be a little crazier though.  Kev and I have been together almost 7 years, and I think the two of us are ready to progress our relationship and lives to the next level.

The next thing to happen was my husbands' friend Zac and his wife Jenny (our age as well) came over to the states to visit.  They live in Germany, and have 2 super cute kids.  Amy is 6, understands English but only speaks German, and Finn is 2, he understands/speaks both.  OMG.  I fell in kid love.  They are so cute.  Rambunctious and energetic, yes, but also sweet and loving and learning about the world and were just so excited by everything around them.  Spending time with Zac and Jenny and the kids really drove it home that we can do it.  If they're 24/25 and can make everything work, why can't we?  All of this combined with my oogles of research really made me see that there are very few cons on my list of comparisons.  For example:


  • It is healthier to have children in your early/mid twenties.  The older you get, the older your eggs get and the less able your body is to handle the extreme stress you will experience during the pregnancy and the labor/delivery.  
  • If you have fertility problems, better to find out now than when I'm 32 and on the decline of the prime baby making age bracket. 
  • We can have two kids by the time we're 30 and have them raised and out of the house before we're 50, leaving us plenty of time to retire and do all the traveling we can't afford to do now because we're too young and haven't made enough money yet.
  • You bounce back quicker in your 20's than in your 30's.
  • We are married, own our own home, and are both employed with full time jobs.
  • I get health insurance with maternity coverage that starts on May 1st.  This insurance amazingly states that "pregnancy is never considered a pre-existing condition"  And yes, I called and confirmed this.
  • There is nothing (except maybe Zumba®) that I would hate giving up.  We don't party or go out except on the rare occasion (we usually don't have time off at the same time or have to work early the next morning) nor are we doing crazy traveling, sky diving, or anything else that we'd miss doing if we had kids. 
  • If anything, having kids will give us a reason to do more things like geocaching, going to the park, walking through the pet store just because, trips to the library, going to the beach, playing frisbee, etc etc.  We do hardly any of this now.
  • We want children.
  • I'm not afraid of a poopy diaper.
  • I think I'll be able to work evening shifts in order to minimize having to hire a nanny/drop the kids off at childcare.
  • Babies are expensive
  • I might have to put them in childcare depending on the work situation
  • I will gain a lot of weight, possibly get stretch marks, and probably be constipated for a while.
  • My hoo-hoo will be unrecognizable for a while after the birth, or I'll have a scar from c-section (which I'm hoping not to have)
  • I'll have to get poked with a few needles, which I'll probably have to be tied down for.
  • I'll probably cry when I look in the mirror and don't recognize the foreign body that will be mine after the whole pregnancy thing is over.
  • I'll probably swell with water retention and have to take off my wedding ring, so people will think I'm a hussy.
  • If I have really bad luck, I could die.  But probably not.  (in which case SAVE THE BABY)
As you can see, my "pro" list is much longer and full of better points than my "con" list.  This gives me happiness and impatience, all at the same time.  I'm surprised Kevin hasn't duct taped my mouth shut yet.  Every other sentence I manage to mention "Babies?"  

In my research, I read that many people start taking prenatal vitamins 3 months before TTC, and they also stop taking BC 2-3 months before TTC.  When I first read all this, I kind of mentally noted that I would stop taking BC in May, and then we'd start trying in August.  Then 2 weeks later, I took the last pill in my pill pack and decided I was done with BC.  That we could just let things happen.  I'm so excited to be pregnant, that I just stopped taking BC.  This is when I knew I was starting to lose my marbles.  But I can't really see any reason not to.  So I guess we're NTNP* now, except that we kind of are trying....

I have my pre-pregnancy appointment at a really highly talked about OB/GYN on June 6th.  I guess if I end up with a BFP** before then, I'll just turn it into a prenatal appt.  I do need to call and see if I have to have a blood test at that appt...probably.  (shudder)  I'll ask them if they can give me any anxiety medicine to take before I go in.  They do not want to try to stick me with a needle in my right mind.  It will take them an hour to pin me down.

Anyways, back to the topic.  Our decision to stop preventing was a kind of rapid realization that there wasn't really any reason to wait, other than me not wanting to be bloated, barfing, and gassy at convention.  But I figure even if I get pregnant before the convention, I won't be THAT preg...unless I get pregnant now or in May.  If I get preg in June I should be ok...convention is 7/8-7/10.  And if I am so what.  Pregnancy is not a disease.  I should be fine.

Famous last words.

*NTNP:  Not trying, not preventing
**BFP:  Big Fat Positive

Next blog topic:  How the idea of water birth made me less afraid of having babies.

How do I function when my brain is stuck on one thought?

Lately, I've started to notice that one specific thought is prominent in my brain.  It's a thought that seems to repeat itself over and over and over again throughout any given day, and it makes me more aware of my surroundings.  It makes me aware of other people, aware of the environment, of the toxins and chemicals in the air and in our food, of the many parks that are near my home that I never realized were there, and of how disgusting berber carpet really is, especially when you have 3 cats that sleep, puke, and poop on it on a regular basis.  It makes me notice the old rusted cars that have car seats in the back of them, the angry parents in Wal-Mart that have no patience for their 2 year old who they decided to drag grocery shopping at 12:30 in the morning, and that when we go out to eat, 3 of the 4 tables that surround us have baby carriers at them.  All of a sudden, infants and toddlers are EVERYWHERE.  People on Facebook are posting pictures of their little ones or of their pregnant bellies, a woman my husband works with is pregnant, close friends of ours, who are our age, have 2 beautifully adorable children, our neighbors have the cutest 2 1/2 year old that loves playing outside, and let's not even start on the television shows about pregnant teenagers or octamoms.  Point is, when your biological clock starts ticking, you starting hearing it's "tick" every second you're conscious, and even some that you're not.  (Babies.....babies....babies....babies....babies....babies.....)  So what do I do?  How do I function?  How do I get anything done?

As I type this, I'm creating the perfect example for the point I'm trying to make.  Today is Monday, and it's the only day off I get during a normal work week.  I slept until 12:30, and I woke up from a dream that had something to do with babies--boy babies, and this isn't the first dream I've had about babies, all of which have been about baby boys.  (I wish I was kidding here...)  I really want to get some things done, mainly, I'd like to learn 2-3 new songs to teach at my Zumba® Fitness class.  What am I doing instead?  Sitting in Empire* creating a blog on biological clocks and trying to conceive (ttc).

*Empire:  (n.) the love seat in my living room that is surrounded by all of my favorite things, all of which are within arms reach.  Favorite things include, but are not limited to:  laptop, journal, baby books from the library, baby name book, nintendo ds, pokemon game guide, nook book, couch pillows, and a small comfy blanket.  This is the place in our house that I most often plop myself for hours at a time researching pregnancy and babies.

I think getting anything done and peeling myself away from the baby research is just going to take immense will power.  Trouble is, it's like having no food in the house except for candy, pretzels, potato chips, cookies, pasta and other junk food and then trying to convince yourself to get up and drive all the way to the store just to get one little, healthy apple. Yeah, right.  So.  Here I sit.

AND, what's worse is that I have SO MANY THOUGHTS on pregnancy that I could literally sit here and type the worlds longest blog entry and not even think twice about it.  Right now I'm almost boiling over because I want to write about so many things, but I'm desperately trying to keep this post on topic.

Back to topic.  I'll start with an introduction.  My name is Alexa.  I think you already have somewhat of a picture of where my mental state is at the moment, but I'll go over things I enjoyed doing prior to the awakening of my Biological Time Bomb.*  I teach Zumba® Fitness twice a week.  I love it.  I love getting to dance, I love the music, I love the culture, and I love the people.  I'm going to the 2011 Instructor Convention this summer, and I literally can't wait.  Originally, we were putting off TTC until the convention was over b/c I wanted to be able to enjoy everything about the convention without the weight gain, water retention, constipation, gassiness, exhaustion, and etc that comes with pregnancy.  However, my brain has other ideas, so...yeah.  Also, I'm a bit of a dork and I love loved playing pokemon.  In fact, the new game just came out, which I got on the first day of it's release as well as the special edition game guide.  I have not played it in 2 1/2 weeks.  I love reading, mostly sci-fi/fantasy type books, but also teen sci-fi/fantasy, and books such as The Kite Runner, Water For Elephants, the Shopaholic books, the monarchy books by Philippa Gregory, and most recently, any book that has to do with pregnancy, childbirth, baby names, or postpartum.  I like to go to the gym, with my main incentive now being strengthening my core and cardiovascular health to prepare for pregnancy.  Originally, my main gym goal was to tone up and finally lose that little bit of belly fat that seems permanently fixed to my stomach, just below my belly button.  However, I now realize that it will never go away unless I eat nothing except vegetables, oats and protein powder and do a million squats and dead lifts, so....yeah.  I also enjoy going to garage sales, thrift stores, and regular stores, and I love it when I find things for a bargain.  I've been known to purchase things just because they're offered for an unbeatable price, even though I may not need it.  I am a happy, scatterbrained, life-loving individual who enjoys staying busy and loves filling her time with things to do from sun up to sun down.  I find that I'm a little nutty, and I think my husband questions my sanity sometimes.  But that's ok.  I do too.  Other than that, we're stable people who have been together for just about 7 years, have been married for 1 year, and have owned our own 3/2/2 home for 2 1/2 years.  We both have stable jobs, my husband has been at his for 6 1/2 years, and I have been at mine for only 2 1/2 months.  (but it's a good job)  And, the most important thing about me/us....we have decided to start TTC!!!!!

*Biological Time Bomb: (n.)  Kind of like a biological clock, except with a lot more oomph.  A lot like the difference between a roman candle and a bazooka.  I lived in the biological clock phase for about 2 weeks.  Then my body kicked it up a few notches, and here we are.  Creating a blog to further feed my insanity.